“life will be better in spring”

June 2012 July 2012

Hello! Currently feeling tired and blah x.x Not feeling like myself, but that's alright. Today was fun! To say the least. Okay, party wasn't all that great, escaped halfway after Mrs. W came up and asked me why I wasn't dancing & singing then I was like O_O So I decided to run off to find my dear Pang san <3 And say hi to many others who were like playing games in their classes! Lol.

With the people I love--

LX's mask thingy! So pweddy~~

Chocolate muffin  from Starbucks! mmmmm~

Random doggy-and-bear-cuddling-in-a-cowboy-hat pic. Cute, no?!?!

Alright so it was quite nice having a tai-tai afternoon in Starbucks with SF & GG, I think we should have more of these tai-tai afternoons lololol. Life honestly felt great then, laughing & chatting with people I truly am comfortable with :) Though the moment I got home I felt like dying because I realised that I'm only left with 3 miserable days to the first paper )': Seriously. Sigh.

I guess I can't really put what I'd felt today (the not-so-happy part) in words, but I shall try. Hmmm. Let's see.. Pushing negativity away forcefully, but not being able to overcome it most of the time? Thinking that you've done a great job in hiding behind a mask, but realizing that you are actually as vulnerable as ever. Feeling like a lost jigsaw piece. Don't fit in. Out of place. Bare. Empty. Suffocation. Escape. People I love. Relief. True self emerges. Back to that place. Mask put back on by default. Fake, too smiley, too obliging. Cannot wait for the end to be near. Absolutely cannot.


You can try making sense of the chunk I'd typed above, or push it away and take it as my occasional nonsense, just because.


I suppose I do come across as quite a weirdo sometimes, since I find it awkward to smile at everyone and anyone, especially those whom I'm not even close with. Just mere acquaintances. But everybody else seems to be able to do that, with much ease. Am I being too cold? Too unfeeling? Or am I just being me.


Today is BYD, but ironically, when I was in that place, I did not feel much like myself. At all. This is not a new feeling, haven't I been like that for the past one and a half year? I'd grown so accustomed to that, I am almost immune. But why is it that I had felt so haunted, so lost today? What happened to the mask I'd been hiding behind all this while.


A little more than 4 months left, all will be fine
I have faith

Have a good weekend! xoxo






Hellllllllllllllllo! Just a quick post before I go off to zzz *_*
Today started off okay, since it's a Wednesday and school ends super early... like at 1.25pm hohoooo and I skipped remedial (whoops) because I thought I'll actually be alive enough to go home and mug.. but hell that was certainly not the case (since when has that ever been the case, I ask you) >(  The truth was I died on my bed barely after an hour of mugging (I swear nothing went in) and I ONLY WOKE UP ONE HOUR LATER, which pissed me off and terrified me so bad. I wish I went for remedial after all sigh. It was such a mighty waste of time and I was pissed off all the way until dinnertime. Food made me a slightly less cranky cow but I'M STILL FEELING CRANKY PSSSSSSSSH. Today was just unproductive and crappy I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!! *self-abuse mode* Okay I sincerely hope that tomorrow afternoon will be much more productive and leave me a happier cow (but still a cow because a leopard cannot change its spots ohmygoose what on earth am I talking about I think I'm going mad kay bye)



I'm finally back on Blogger after like, a million years!! Hahah good old blogger. Loving the current skin, it's so simple, so clean, so crisp.

Anyway.. I'm resolving to type my blog posts with all the correct punctuation/grammar/spelling/big & small letters from now on! Haha. Hopefully doing this will.. coughs.. improve my LA grades. It's probably time to do something about that thing. It's not a good feeling to have someone telling you (or actually, your mom. lol) that you are "not taking it seriously". I mean, it hurts. I used to be so proud of myself because I loved English and I loved reading English books back in primary school and my English grades were always top-ish. There was even this friend who wrote in my "profile book" (remember those days when we brought pretty ink pens to school just to write pretty profiles? Haha, fond memories) that she admires me because my English has always been good. My, was I flattered. Not to mention immensely touched, then saddened at what has become of me (my English mostly). She wouldn't admire me now. Lol.


So from now on, I SHALL SPEAK AND WRITE ELOQUENTLY! This is a tall order, but hey, I'll do whatever to bring me back to the good old days when everyone thought I was a genius at English. Being not able to read as and when I want is bad though.. :'(


ALRIGHTY LET'S GET DOWN TO AN UPDATE OF MY LIFE TODAY!

Nothing much actually. Woke up early (TvT), dragged my ass to the bus stop, took the bus to school, felt dead, went to school, got quite excited about the new canteen vendors (I'd been hoping that they will bring the school population nicer food. Like, at least edible. I'm not even talking about the kind of food gourmets look for), felt like I was given a sharp slap across my poor face because the food turned out to be 10000000000000x worse than before (don't get me started on this I've already ranted enough on twitter/fb lol) and I was so fed up I bought a burger, stuffed it down my throat and told everyone that it is the Best Choice. HAH. I think I'm so hilarious even when there's a lack of quality food :) BUT ANYWAY. THE BURGER WASN'T EVEN THAT GREAT. IT WAS DRY, ICKY AND DISGUSTING IN GENERAL. AND STILL PRICED LIKE THE BURGERS FROM THE PREVIOUS VENDOR. AND THOSE WERE, FRANKLY, WAYYYYYY BETTER THAN THIS STUPID ICKY ONE THAT ONLY HAS ONE STUPID DRY FILLET AND A FEW MISERABLE BITS OF LETTUCE AS THE FILLING OF THE BURGER. AND OH YES, DID I MENTION THAT IT DIDN'T EVEN HAVE PROPER WRAPPING.
IT. WAS. WRAPPED. IN. TISSUE. PAPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Oh my giddy goose I was so... mortified (don't know what this means I shall check it out later, has just been seeing this word floating around in Emma so much that I feel compelled to use it. Omg I am speaking like a Person from the 19th Century. Good job) and pissed off so after school I ran to Dong Dae Mun (okay I didn't run, I took a bus) and got CHICKEN THIGH. AAAAAAAAH I WAS SO SATISFIED. And I ate it with the nice fruit tea from Lipton. Totally made up for the annoyance I felt towards the bloody canteen!!! Ugh still. Like I posted on fb: probably going to starve in sch from now on TvT

I shall think of ways to stop hunger pangs (TUPID SCHOOL CANTEEN >((((((( ) during school hours, god save me. Does drinking huge amounts of water help?? Man I really miss the vendors we had in sec one. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT


I better go off now and try to get some work done........ Been in a slacky mood since I got home, this is NOT GOOD!!!!!!!!!

Okay byebye have a good week ahead guys
xoxo